
We were channeling Mark Anthony, circa his famous speech, when we realized how applicable the words are to our own Prime Minister. How ingenious would it have been if while our esteemed Meles Zenawi was parading all over Europe, the Mitmita Girls had jumped up, took the stage and announced:
“Friends, Romans, countrymen, lend me your ears. I come to bury Meles not to praise him. The evil that men do lives after them; The good is oft interred with their bones. So let it be with Meles.”
Perhaps he would have continued to try to inculcate himself into the jovial pictures that President Obama and that pesky Italian Prime Minister were posing for, but at least he would have had egg on his face! There he was, looking sheepishly like a loser waiting to be invited to the cool kids’ club. So we asked ourselves: why is Meles Zenawi allowed to show his face anywhere and much less at the G-20?
Perhaps like Sarah Palin, Meles’ people don’t let him read any news that they haven’t properly vetted or which doesn’t come from state (read: Meles) controlled press. Last we checked, a rights group based in Washington DC, Genocide Watch, singled out Zenawi for his violations of human rights and specifically asked the United Nations High Commissioner for Human Rights to investigate evidence of genocide committed by the Ethiopian government in Gambella and in Ogaden. Genocide, despite what the Prime Minister thinks, is not an easy charge. Mitmita knows that our beloved leader has difficulty with these concepts—one need only look at the charges he leveled against opposition leaders, human rights defenders and journalists in 2005. Remember when he charged them with genocide and then the charges had to be dropped because, well, pretty much everyone in the international community agreed that under no acceptable definition would any of the activities of the opposition be deemed genocide?
Fast-forward to when Meles welcomed fellow dictator Omar Al Bashir of the Sudan to Ethiopia. Could it be that the Prime Minister is taking tips from Bashir on how to get indicted by the International Criminal Court? If that is the case, then we most welcome the visit from the Sudanese! Our Prime Minister, we realized, relishes living amidst chaos because he thinks he is the only stable one in the region—Sudan’s dictatorship is a pariah, one step away from being thrown behind bars; Eritrea, which served as Zenawi’s staging ground for his 1991 invasion is an isolated nation, whose dictator is similarly strangling our sister population; and of course Somalia, a beautiful country marred by Zenawi’s war crimes, is a humanitarian disaster. Among those three most appealing choices, our Prime Minister, with his servile attitude towards the West, comes off as the most obvious one to fund to the tune of billions—except of course for the fact that he is a calculating genocidal maniac. His whole existence is akin to a dating expedition—one in which the West is “pursuer” and the Horn of Africa countries are the ones being courted: one fellow has no job, no direction and no clear plan, is in debt up to his ears but is handsome to look at (Somalia); the second fellow just has crazy in his eye and you think he may have a neighbor tied up in the basement (Eritrea); the third dude has a brilliant smile while he is telling you how he has beaten all of his women but you know, obviously, they deserved it; and the last fellow, dresses in designer duds, seems to use the right nomenclature (if you like that kind of a thing) but upon further inspection you see that his clothes are knock offs and you are sure he was once featured on America’s Most Wanted (Zenawi). Less enterprising people would dismiss all of these men as unacceptable. But the West, seeing an opportunity in everything decides to date the last fellow since he seems to be the one who is making the most out of his situation and besides, he talks all pretty and dresses well enough and so what if it turns out he is a monster because he can still take the West out on dates, pay for all the drinks and give the West whatever she wants!
Which is why, undoubtedly, our Meles was seen running around Europe pretending as though he understands economics and turning his nose up at the wretched ICC. After that little escapade, it is only natural that the next logical step is an accusation of a conspiracy. As just about everyone knows, we adore plots of all kinds—for instance a conspiracy between our favorite couture designers and our jewelers is something we can’t resist. But we do suffer from great ennui every time that our Prime Minister believes that the boogeyman is out to get him. Honestly, he is just not interesting enough for people to try to upstage him at all hours of the day and night! Others, much more serious than we, are engaged in real life concerns like food, health, and building a sustainable existence in a country where the populations lives on fear and borrowed time. They have no time to plan a coup d’état.
The Prime Minister must believe in that old adage that the absence of any evidence confirms the existence of a conspiracy. So we of course circled back to the Bard, the expert on conspiracies, murders and corrupt leaders—unlike Caesar, we can’t think of a single good that the Prime Minister has done which would be interred with his bones, yet we know, the evil that he is doing will live long after him.
So why don’t we give him something to really fret about? Contact your elected officials in Congress and ask them to pressure the Ethiopian government to release Birtukan Mideska and to stop funding terrorism in Ethiopia. Now that’s the kind of organized conspiracy to overthrow Meles that we can get behind!
To the barricades!



