The Mitmita Girls’ Naughty Or Nice List

Basking in the double consciousness that is our Ethiopian hearts and western habits, the Mitmita Girls are in full swing of the holiday spirit! First comes the depravity of the European Christmas, followed by the more sober and deliberate “Gena” celebrations—after all everyone knows that Jesus hails from Nazret, Ethiopia and was born on January 7^th!

So it is with pure delight and the hopes of closing out the year in a reflective mood that we offer you our First Annual Mitmita Girls’ Naughty or Nice List! We will review the past year and provide our faithful readers with our recommendations as to who deserves a present from Santa and whose stockings we will be filling with coal.

We begin our list with a most impressive person indeed.

Name: Meles Zenawi

Title: Prime Minister of Ethiopia, Judge, Jury, Executioner

Designation: The Devil called and wants his job back. Monsieur Premier Minister is doing such a bang up job of screwing over Ethiopia, that Lucifer is wondering if there will be much of anything left for him to do. Ergo our designation for Mr. Meles is Naughty. Naughty as hell.

We never know where to start with our Prime Minister. Researching him is always an exercise in absurdity. For instance, who else, when asked about a prisoner of conscience who was rearrested for no other reason than opining about the conditions of her pardon, would say, “[t]here will never be an agreement with anybody to release Birtukan. Ever. Full stop. That’s a dead issue.”

There is something in the lovely pronouncements of our Prime Minister that brings to mind the misery so aptly described by Charles Dickens.

“But its Christmas season, prime minister!” we say in our most earnest voices.

He would respond, “Are there no prisons? Are there no workhouses?”

It seems that Dickens’ tale of cruelty, power, poverty and greed would be most apropos to our current state of Ethiopia. Except unlike the scrooge of the Christmas Carol, Meles will not be visited by the Ghost of Ethiopia’s past, present and future. He has effectively erased our history, is ruining our present and our future has been sold—lock stock and barrel—to the Arabs and Chinese.

Ethiopia under Meles, in addition to being Dickensian-with its street urchins, lack of healthcare—remember Tiny Tim, who because of the lack of access to medical attention was gravely ill—also reminds us of another British author’s view of a dystopia. With Meles’ penchant for arresting journalists, shutting down newspapers, and accusing every Tom, Dick and Shimeles of treason, we think he might have taken George Orwell’s “1984” literally. Where else would he get the idea for the terrorism and the charities and civil society’s bills but in a book where the department of war is called the Ministry of Peace, the state propaganda machine is called the Ministry of Truth and police and security forces are called the Ministry of Love? While the book makes for a fascinating Sunday afternoon read, Prime Minister, we hardly think it is a manifesto on how to run a country!

It is in the hopes that Twenty Ten rids of your machinations and your ethnocentric policies that we nominate you as our inaugural Naughtiest Person of the Year.

On the other end of the spectrum lies our next honoree.

Name: Human Rights Watch

Description: International non-governmental organization (NGO)

Designation: Very, very Nice

The Mitmita Girls are not much for nonprofits and NGO—they usually have their own agendas and at times they implicitly and other times explicitly, conspire with repressive regimes for their own benefits. Nevertheless, it is with extreme pleasure that we applaud Human Rights Watch (HRW) for their recognition of Daniel Bekele as their human rights advocate of the year. As you recall, Daniel was one of the one hundred plus individuals who were arrested in the Meles’ created melee that ensued following the 2005 elections. HRW’s gala celebration honoring our illustrious attorney and human rights defender was held in New York City at the American Museum of Natural History. The Mitmita Girls were fortunate enough to snag a few of the coveted tickets to the grand affair. In attendance were other luminaries of the Diaspora, including a certain charming Professor of a renown New York school who regaled us with fantasies of an Ethiopia under his rule as well as an accomplished PhD who delighted us with discussions of women’s rights, a topic near and dear to our feminist hearts. We were so engrossed with the conversation that we almost neglected to indulge in the culinary delights for which some in attendance donated upwards of $10,000! Who knew human rights work was sexy and oh so rewarding?

Did we mention that recipients of the HRW award are generally short listed for the Nobel Prize? Eat.Your.Heart.Out.Woyanes. We suppose we will have to consult with Michelle Obama on what one wears to Oslo?

Back to the naughty list, our next honoree is a fascinating persona who came into our lives in a whirlwind.

Name: Eleni Gabre-Madhin

Title: CEO of Ethiopia Commodity Exchange (ECX), Affectionately known to the Mitmitas as “Madame Financier”

Honors: Introducing ethnicity into the discussion of the ECX; Giving each of us a hearty laugh at the notion that a country still struggling with food insecurity could have a commodity exchange.

Designation: Oh so very Naughty!

This would be mitmita had our hearts at the mention of the word “exchange.” Being Wall Street aficionados in one of our former lives, we welcomed the debauchery that would ensue once a commodity exchange opened in Addis. The parties! The bribery! The hot handsome bankers! Alas! Far from being debauched, we are simply bored. There were the Op-ed pieces, the documentary, and the all out media assault on our senses to convince us what our poor country needed was a fancy new gadget for the plutocrats. Really, Madame Financier, these efforts are akin to when we dress up a drab love affair with jewels—the fancy is lovely cover-up but what lies beneath is still a dull fellow who no doubt can afford the foie gras but can barely keep us entertained through dessert.

And because we are such mean, mean girls who don’t appreciate all that Madame has done for us, her oft-cited cri de coeur traced her lineage. You see, under Meles’ Ethiopia, your accomplishments don’t count; it’s your bloodlines, stupid. Since ethnicity and genealogy have done just so much for Palestine and Israel, as well as for the Hutus and Tutsis we might as well copy that healthy formula in Ethiopia! Oromos, can you hear me? What about Welietas? Amharas, anyone? Woe are those of us of mixed ethnicity! How do we pick? Maybe senyo through hamoose, we can claim Mimi’s grandmother’s Gurage line but only if it is politically advantageous and then on oohood, at church we can find out whether the Abuna’s family is Tigre and we can pray in Tigrinya?

This whole thing is strange for us ex-pats since when the Mitmita Girls were tots and teens, once upon a time, we were simply Ethiopian.

For all her Oscar worthy performances, we think Madame Financier should have headed south from Stanford to Hollywood rather than gracing us with her presence in Addis. We were just not ready for her brilliance, for her valiant attempts to drag us kicking and screaming out of the darkness and into Ethiopia’s Wall Street. Yet, all we ever wanted was access to some clean water, for a start.

No doubt Madame Financier is miffed at being slighted by the Nobel Committee for her contributions to the field of economics. Don’t fret, our little economista, the Mitmita Girls will give you all the accolades you deserve.

Our final list of Nicies are a group of amazing women! Surely you are not surprised! For every Eleni, there are a million Almazs, two million Taitus, and 40 million Sarahs who are committed to liberating Ethiopia.

Name: Ethiopian Women’s Human Rights Alliance

Title: Grassroots human rights organization

Designation: Tres, Tres Nice

The very seriously accomplished ladies of the Ethiopian Women’s Human Rights Alliance (EWHRA) stylishly make up our list of the Nicies for 2009. This is yet another example of women taking charge. Full of moxie, brilliance, sugar and spice, no doubt, EWHRA filed a report with the Universal Periodic Report of the United Nations detailing the violations of human rights committed by the Ethiopian government. You can read the full report here: http://www.ohchr.org/EN/HRBodies/UPR/Pages/UPRETStakeholdersInfoS6.aspx

If we would be so bold as to summarize their findings: International Convention on Civil and Political Rights (ICCPR) violated! Freedom of Speech violated! Convention Against Torture (CAT) violated! You get the gist--across all internationally accepted standards, the Ethiopian government earns a big fat "F" for failure. Their report even provided recommendations for improvements, which no doubt, will be ignored by the illiterates running our country.

And what timing EWHRA had! For years, Ethiopia has neglected its reporting obligations under international treaties; yet all of a sudden Meles’ sycophants are falling all over themselves to submit reports and appear in Geneva to defend their human rights record. It must be those pesky women and their report!

We applaud the women of EWHRA for their perseverance and their genius!

Speaking of women leadership, we remind you that next week marks the one-year anniversary of Birtukan Mideksa’s incarceration. In light of that bleak fact and because actions always speak louder than our words on paper, we pass on the following bit of information from the Free Birtukan and All Prisoners of Conscience (FreeBirtukan.org) Task Force: Please help us reach our goal with your tax deductible donation. Please donate here at http://www.freebirtukan.org by clicking on the Donate button or mail your donation to:

FreeBirtukan.Org

P.O.Box 3158,

Cypress, CA 90630

So there is our list for 2009! You must be wondering what is on the agenda for us in Twenty Ten.

The Mitmita Girls are running for office! We believe the issues of governance in Ethiopia can be resolved if the Mitmita Girls controlled the finances and the politics of our country. In preparation, we are brushing up on our Niccolo Machiavelli, Tzun Tzu, Friedrich Engels and Hillary Clinton. In the event we lose the National Elections of Twenty Ten, we have already made plans to establish a “shadow government” (Thanks Dick Cheney for the idea!) From the comfort of our libraries, cafes, hair salons and blogs, we think we can do a better job governing than the current clowns in office. For starters, we would make sure everyone is very well dressed! You choice of agerlebs on us! We will call you when it is time for the fittings—or as they say in Addis for the “prova.”

Enkuan le Gena abren aderesen and to all a happy new year!

The Mitmita Girls’ Naughty Or Nice List